King:
Who stands out there?
Wizard:
Your loyal subjects come to pay their monthly tribute.
King:
Send me one.
Wizard:
Sir?
King:
Send one of those fellows in here.
Wizard:
Which, sir?
King:
I don't care. Send me... That lowly stupid looking one that's covered with dust. Who's he?
Wizard:
The miller, sir, with his sack of flour.
King:
He'll do.
King:
You must spin for me just one more night. And when you do, I will make you my wife.
Wizard:
Wife? Uh, I mean to say, oh your wife?
King:
My queen.
Wizard:
The miller's daughter, my lord, your queen?
King:
Yes, you toothless rube, where else am I going to meet a girl who's richer?
Wizard:
I have teeth, sire.
King:
I see in you the mark of intelligence.
The Miller:
Me, sir?
King:
You, Miller. I am surrounded by fools. You are the man who will give me good advice.
The Miller:
Me?
King:
Are you not intelligent?
The Miller:
Um...
[Shakes his head, then nods]
The Miller:
Yes, sir, mm-hmm.
Miller's Daughter:
Little man, oh little man? Oh, why won't you answer me?
Wizard:
[Suddenly comes in] Did you call me?
Miller's Daughter:
No!
Fairy Godmother:
Honey, I'm your fairy godmother. Didn't you see me "poof" next to you?
Cinderella:
Do you know anything about kissing?
Prince Henry:
I'm almost certain it has something to do with the lips.
Cinderella:
I'm hopelessly in love and now I'll never see him again.
Cinderella:
But Fairy Godmother, isn't it a little cruel to turn them into rabbits.
Fairy Godmother:
They'll be back to normal at midnight.
Prince Henry:
Midnight? Midnight! Then that explains...
Fairy Godmother:
Not only handsome, but smart.
Fairy Godmother:
[after having transformed the step-mother and step-sisters into rabbits] I've been wanting to do that for a long time.
Stepmother:
It's just Cinderella. She's nothing but a nothing.
Prince Henry:
As they say, madam, it takes one to know one.
Prince Richard:
You've infected my milk.
The Good Fairy:
But someday a prince will come.
Henbane:
You do have a way with words, dear heart.
Cinderella:
I'm sorry I didn't recognize you.
Prince Henry:
That's all right. In fact, it's quite refreshing. I get tired of being recognized all the time. Of course, it's hard to stay anonymous when your face is on all the money.
Prince Richard:
I say, do you know where you are?
Princess Alecia:
I know exactly where I am. I'm lost.
Prince Richard:
Something ghastly has happened to this room.
Princess Alecia:
I cleaned it up.
Princess Alecia:
I'd like to sympathize with you but unfortunately life isn't always perfect.
Prince Richard:
Well, for a prince it jolly well ought to be.
Princess Alecia:
But it isn't.
Prince Richard:
Why not?
Princess Alecia:
Because princes are human beings and human beings aren't perfect. Of course I come pretty close.
Prince Richard:
Why can't I find a woman who's... who's kind, and gentle and understanding?
Princess Alecia:
And *fun*, Richard, and fun.
Prince Richard:
And fun. Someone who's... who's... Well, just like you. Oh, I say.
Queen Veronica:
Who is this?
Prince Richard:
This is Princess Alecia, who happens to be the girl I've decided to m-m-m-m...
Princess Alecia:
Marry.
Prince Richard:
Thank you.
Princess Alecia:
Just a minute, you haven't passed *my* test. To see if you're a real prince or not.
Prince Richard:
[he sputters] That is absurd, of course I'm the prince. Ask anybody.
Princess Alecia:
Wait a minute. This is the test. You have to kiss me.
Prince Richard:
That's it?
Princess Alecia:
Would you wait a minute? You have to kiss me. And if you're a real prince, then I should hear trumpets playing and bells ringing, and I should see stars exploding.
Prince Richard:
Oh, Lord. I... I suppose I could give it a whirl.
Prince Henry:
[referring to the glass slipper] It's a perfect fit. I've found my princess.
Cinderella:
Thank you, I've been looking for that everywhere.
[takes out the other slipper]
Arlene:
She cheated!
King:
What a beautiful lady. Well, are you going to introduce me?
Prince Henry:
We're dancing, father.
King:
So? I'm the King, introduce me.
Cinderella:
I've heard so much about you.
Prince Henry:
Can you come back again later? Please?
King:
All right... No need to get huffy.
Referenced in
Pee-wee's Big Adventure (1985)
- In Tim Burton's episode of Fairy Tale Theatre (Aladdin And His Wonderful Lamp), a hallway with checkerboard pattern and crooked doors appears often. The same hallway, or something very much like it, can be seen in a dream sequence in Pee-wee's Big Adventure (also directed by Tim).
Saturday Night Live: The Best of Robin Williams (1986) (V)
- referenced during the Ace Awards
"Saturday Night Live: (#13.9)" (1988)
- referenced during the Ace Awards