Dot:
Ellie, you have that look in your eyes.
Ellie:
What look?
Dot:
That Liz-Taylor-running-low-on-sleeping-pills look.
Dot:
Oh, it's you mother.
Alice:
No, dear, it's Madonna. Late 30's are hard on Italian women.
Dot:
You know, mother, it's good to see that age hasn't slowed down your sarcasm, reguardless of what it's done to your body.
Alice:
If I were a vain woman, I'd resent you for that. Fortunately for me, I'm a spiteful one!
Dot:
I haven't slept in days.
Ellie:
I can top that. I haven't slept WITH anyone in days. I feel miserable!
Ellie:
Picture this: It's a couple of months from now, Tippy Von Schlagger opens her new copy of Dazzle Magazine and guess what she sees?
Dot Emerson:
A picture of Michael Jackson and George Hamilton passing each other on the color wheel?
Ellie:
See, I'm gonna get my name in the paper by creating a huge scene. As she walks down the runway, I'm gonna pelt Kate Moss with a jelly doughnut!
Val Blumberg:
I'd be worried if I were you!
Dot Emerson:
No, you'd be rich if you were me!
Dot:
Oh, hello mother. What do you want?
Alice:
A time machine set for the night you were conceived and any form of birth control!
Dot:
What's the matter, mother, wake up on the wrong side of the bedpan?
Alice:
Oh, good one! Kiss your mother.
Dot:
Gladly. Can you track her down, though?
Val Blumberg:
Second hand smoke is the most dangerous kind!
Ellie Walker:
Well, stand closer!
Ellie Walker:
What kind of a friend would I be if I weren't willing to sleep with your husband?
Ellie Walker:
Aren't you afraid somebody's gonna drop a house on you?
Val Blumberg:
I may have been born yesterday, but I've been up ALL night!
Ellie Walker:
I may be cruel, vindictive, and sarcastic, but I do have a heart!
Dot Emerson:
...and a portion of your liver!
Val Blumberg:
Mitchell wants me back, you want me here; I've never been so popular!
Ellie Walker:
Don't you just feel like the last condom at Club Med?
Dot Emerson:
Val really has a point.
Ellie Walker:
And her hair covers it nicely!
Brendan:
Is that real fur you're wearing?
Alice:
Relax! They died of cancer!
Val Blumberg:
Golly, this is fancy! I feel so out of place!
Ellie Walker:
Don't let the absence of a salad bar disorient you.
Dot Emerson:
Ellie has more scenes than a Robert Altman film!
Dot Emerson:
You are the kindest, sweetest woman I know. Of course, if someone were having a seizure in your bathtub, you'd throw in you laundry!
Dot Emerson:
Oh, Zsa Zsa called again. She's threatening to write a tell all book about her love life, wants us to publish it. What'd you say?
Steffano:
Same as last time, "we don't do the science fiction."
Remake of
"Absolutely Fabulous" (1992)