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"Dharma & Greg"Your Place or Mine

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"Dharma & Greg"Your Place or Mine Original Dialogues

Aadu:
[runs anxiously to Ärni, after Ärni got a kiss] Well, what happened? Started kissing?



Ärni:
Well, yeah!





Ärni:
Well, OK. Be afraid of your husband and the parents of your husband. But don't be afraid of one thing - don't be afraid of work! Because the wife has to feed her husband and six children!


[first Ärni starts to cry, then everybody else]



Ärni:
[in an angry voice, but still crying] Will you stop this weeping!





John:
[reading a fairy tale to his wife] And the wolf did bow-wow, bow-wow!




[Aadu drives by in a Volga and sees that John and Kohviveski's car has broken down]



Aadu:
Need help?



John:
Uh?



Aadu:
Need any help?



John:
[John looks confused]



Aadu:
[gives John his calling card] Maybe... Sometimes... Our roads will cross? Eh? Chu-chu-frey!


[drives away]



John:
[reads from the calling card] Aadu Kadakas psy... Psychiatrist...





Kohviveski:
I won't come down, oh no! You can berry me with the house!





Kohviveski:
John, I'll jump!



John:
No, pumpkin, you... You won't do it!



Kohviveski:
Yes, I will! And I want to see, if you hire an orchestra to play at my funeral, or not!





Villager:
What does she do there?



Aadu:
[looks through a hole] What does she do, what does she do! She is staring at the ram!




[she has been playing with the children and is now bored]



Kohviveski:
[to the children] Run away, run away, run!



Kohviveski:
[after the children have ran away] Don't run so much!





Aadu:
[to Kohviveski] But you! I'll make a song out of you! From there you'll never get out! And people start to show you from the television set for big money!



Kohviveski:
[exitedly] Ah! From the television!





John:
Who is this man?



Ärni:
Oh, it's Aadu. He's here only during summertime. The rest of the year he has to spend in the madhouse.


[John turns pale from the face]





John:
This guy is mad, mad I tell you!



Kohviveski:
This guy is the only human being on this island!





Kohviveski:
[to a child] I hope that one day even you will become a human being.





Kohviveski:
[singing among the children] In the harbour, the night is so beautiful! In the harbour, the girls are beautiful too!


[the children start to sing along]



Kohviveski:
[stops singing] Who taught you songs like that? Children mustn't sing songs like that! Children should sing such songs...


[continues the same song]





John:
[John is putting the laundry on the wire]



Ärni:
I feel pity about you. This is a women's job!



John:
Well, nothing to do any more, dear host. Too late.



Ärni:
Well, of course it's too late, if you didn't have brains on the right time!





Ärni:
You don't have any more sense than a Gothlandic grindstone!





John:
Landlord, do you have some beer? I've always been a joker and a tippler!


[Ärni looks at him with a strange face]





Aadu:
How did you, flower, get in here?





Aadu:
Shut up! Shut up, or I'll put a juniper into your pants!





Kohviveski:
John, let the water out!


[John starts to unzip his trousers]



Kohviveski:
From the car, you idiot!




[Ärni has put on his old suit and is going on a date with Lõke]



Ärni's wife:
[surprised] Where are you going? To the elections?



Ärni:
In a human being, everything must look nice!





Kohviveski:
[angrily] What do you want?



Aadu:
To fight! Or maybe... to flirt!





Kohviveski:
[to Aadu] Although you are a total oaf, when I'm dancing with you, I feel like we were equal!





Aadu:
My daughter is studying philosophy in Tartu.



Kohviveski:
Oh, you're married?



Aadu:
What, you think that my child's a bastard?



Kohviveski:
Oh! How vulgar!





Aadu:
Look, the authorities are good now, but from the children they demand so much - study, study, study all the time!





Lõke:
[in a flirtatious voice] Dear host! What's the best thing in the world?



Ärni:
Whitefish.



Lõke:
Oh, I love you like I love a whitefish!





Aadu:
[to Kohviveski] But why are you so big from the centre? Don't you think, how wonderful it would be if we could put our arms around each other?




[Mart has just found out that Liina wants to marry Timmu]



Mart:
You know, Aadu... I want to cry!



Aadu:
Go ahead, sonny! Crying is the best thing in the world! A real man must cry really hard once in a lifetime!



Mart:
I wanna cry a big one into a soft pillow right now!



Aadu:
Go ahead, sonny, go ahead!


[puts Mart's head into his lap]



Aadu:
Well, start crying now!



Mart:
But I don't have a pillow!



Aadu:
Don't have a pillow?


[calls Lõke]



Aadu:
Hey, Lõke! Come here! You hold the boy's head and I'll go and find him a pillow!


[Lõke comes, Mart puts his head into her lap and Aadu runs quickly away]





Timmu:
[after smashing the storehouse's door] Do you want to marry me?



Liina:
Yes!



Timmu:
[running around the yard] She wants! She wants! She wants!



Ärni:
Say what?



John:
[to Ärni] She... She doesn't want!



Ärni:
[to John] Not you! Who wants what?



Liina:
Daddy, I said "I do"!



Ärni:
What? To whom?



Liina:
To Timmu. He came to my room last night, golden Moon was shining on his back...



Ärni:
Would you say the heart of the woman! She thinks that the guy was wearing a Moon on his back!





Ärni:
Liina said "I do"!



Ärni's wife:
[scared] Are you mad?



Ärni:
Me? I don't want to get married, *she* does!



Ärni's wife:
What? With whom then?



Ärni:
With Timmu.



Ärni's wife:
For goodness sake! He is so pitiful and weak!



Liina:
But very sweet!





Ärni:
[angrily to Timmu] So, you're taking away my last daughter, eh?



Ärni's wife:
[to Ärni, after grabbing Timmu and pushing him against her chest] Don't yell at the child!



Timmu:
[quietly] Well, I am a bit happy too!



Ärni's wife:
[to Ärni] You see!



Ärni:
[sarcastically] You don't say!





Timmu:
[to Liina] When we are going to Tallinn, let's go to the café and to the Zoo!





Liina:
Our first child we shall name Ärni, like my grandpa. The second we shall name Timmu, like you. The third...



Timmu:
What? How many do you want?



Liina:
Well, some... Or do you have some sort of a problem?



Timmu:
No...